Sometimes we Have to Grieve the dream
My first Dream Home
When my 27 year marriage ended, one of the most difficult parts to accept, after my sadness that this challenge would be for my children, was the loss of a dream.
This picture above is of my dream home.
It is a beautiful brick and cedar 5 bedroom home on 25 acres of bush in the southern highlands of NSW, Australia.
Its the place where I was fortunate to raise my 3 children and we got to live their for 16 years. It was a dream for a very long time, to raise my children in the country, where they could have horses and explore in nature and live a very natural life, which they did.
This home was part of a bigger dream - to secure the land and then build the dream home to raise our family, and here’s the part that I was still grieving - the place were our kids would come back as adults and bring their children to enjoy and experience some of what they enjoyed as children.
But that was not to be, with my marriage ending, so did owning this beautiful home.
Recently I was triggered emotionally about something and when I reflected on my response and sat in meditation with the feeling, I became aware I was still grieving the loss of this part of the dream. The part of having the kids come back and bring their children to.
It might sound a bit lame to others, but to me it meant the world and it hurt to accept it would not come about.
I was surprised and yet compassionate towards myself once I realised what the emotion was and as I continued to sit with the feeling of loss, betrayal, failure and expectations of unfulfilled dreams I allow myself to eventually let it go.
Once I went through this process and came to a place of acceptance I realised that I had already created a new dream.
One of creating a new dream home with my now partner and one that still would have my adult children come to visit and bring their children to.
Family means the world to me and I feel blessed to have a small yet beautiful family who all love and support each other. (mostly)!
I share this post in the hope that I encourage you to not dismiss any triggers or feelings and allow yourself to sit with and acknowledge all aspects of yourself and your desires. And to remind us that dream really can come true, even if they change a little a long the way.
Do you have any unresolved grief over unfulfilled dreams?
